Indecision keeps us comfortable, small, stuck, safe, anxious
OK...ENOUGH with the waffling.
I want to challenge and provoke you. I am still the same supportive, caring coach you know and love...I am just pushing you to a new level.
When you are making a BIG decision...especially something in the direction of your VISION and dream, you know the answer. YOU do. Two things are at play...you are in denial of what your soul is telling you, or you are in fear to (REALLY) do something about it. This is when you know it’s time to get real with yourself. You get to TRUST yourself...listen to what you have to say. You do have the answers inside yourself!
My point is, the only thing really stopping you is you. Everything else you tell yourself is just a story. Which is awesome news and also kinda crappy news. But on the good side is that now you can do something about it!
You get to choose...am I committed to my fear or my vision. That’s it. That is the only decision.
40 things I’ve learned or done or loved before 40 my reverse bucket list, if you will.
Disclaimer - I am a slow learner!! So while many of these would be obvious to you...I likely just learned this...
How often do we sit down and really take an inventory of things we have accomplished or AHAs we had over the course of our life?
For me it was not often...ok it was not at all.
So to celebrate myself which is something I have also never really done I decided to challenge myself to making a list of 40. And of course that means I’m challenging you to do this as well!
Hey...no need to be 40...any/every age will work, also a birthday isn’t required 😉
I feel so incredibly blessed! 💜
1. I am a storyteller, those of you who know me best say DUH...but being told I have poor communication skills for so long made me take a long time to claim this!
2. All my feelings are OK (I used to think I was bad or wrong for feeling blah) - duh it’s so normal!
3. Do things before I think I’m ready
4. Figure it out...
When I first started my business a few years ago, terms like ‘alignment’ and ‘ease’ sounds like great buzz words to use but I honestly couldn’t articulate them when I was talking about my own business.
Working hard and hustling isn’t easy, it’s hard but it’s also what I thought was necessary to run a business. But the bigger problem was that it wasn’t working for me...I was getting nowhere no matter how hard I was pushing.
I decided to make some changes because I couldn’t keep going at that pace. I took a look at what I was doing that I LOVED doing and started to focus on that. How could what was fun and easy for me start to grow into a business. Once I did that, everything shifted.
I was doing all the same work that I was forcing into my business before but suddenly it became easier. It was less effort to be consistent and people were responding. The energy I was putting out there really shifted and others could feel that.
It felt inflow to reach out to my audience and make offers to help...
I was craving to grow my business in a real way, trying to find the perfect funnel, the perfect launch program, even toyed with different programs to create. Then I stopped and realized I had the perfect solution to getting quick results in my business ALREADY!
A year earlier I started a local meet up called TRIBE. It's a women's empowerment group that was born from a deep desire for community. I curated speakers and locations...but what I was also doing was creating real relationships with the women who attended.
You know...those genuine connections everyone is saying you really need to grow your business. I was doing it with women who showed up for the first time or the 5th.
Once that clicked for me, I started to notice something INCREDIBLE:
by me really getting to know my TRIBE and taking a genuine interest in them turned them into not only the event's biggest fans, but mine as well.
There are so many examples of how putting the focus on the relationship has grown my business:
So many women I know who want to start or grow their business are already doing so many of the right things. Like growing a community (that could look like an email list, a blog, a Facebook group, in-person meetups), creating and posting content that educates and adds value, engaging with people and building relationships, showing up as their real vulnerable selves. But many aren’t doing a major thing making offers.
They often feel stuck on the ‘sales‘ not feeling good or they don’t want to feel like they are pressuring their amazing community. And, god forbid that they make money on something they are this passionate about!
I get it, I was 100% there.
Then I realized my community wanted MORE! The more I engaged with them, the more they wanted AND the more I knew what they were looking to learn.
So when I finally made my first program and put the offer out, I sold it out with 100% take up! That’s to say, everyone, I spoke to about it, purchased it.
It seems that every other article I’m reading is about how to grow your email list FAST, how to double the size of your Facebook Group overnight and that will lead to fast sales.
But what you might end up with is people who are not your target market, not engaged and don’t know, like or trust you yet.
Well, if that’s not the way to more growth and sales in your business, what should you be doing?
There is nothing I have seen play out more effectively with my clients, myself and my mentors than building relationships with people. This way they geIt to know you, learn to trust you and grow to like or even love you. When that happens, they talk about you to ANYONE and EVERYONE who will listen...and in turn, those people will start to follow, ask to join your group or reach out to you.
This creates a warm market of people who are engaged and now all you have to do is nurture and serve your current community.
Here is a perfect example!
One of my clients is a powerful wellness coach and pers...
I used to have anxiety attacks…they would seemingly come out of nowhere and I’d be driving home from work and I had to pull over, or take off my jacket or even undo my blouse because the restriction in my chest felt like too much. This was my body’s way of telling me something was up. I ignored it, and it kept happening, more frequently and I continued to ignore it. Then it was spilling over into other times where I wasn’t driving, then I found myself getting them at home and hiding in a closet waiting for it to subside. I realized at this point (yes, it took me a while) something was wrong. At first I didn’t know what was wrong…well actually, in hindsight, I would argue that I knew exactly WHAT was wrong but was TERRIFIED to admit it to myself. I knew something had to change, I knew I wanted a better life for my girls and myself!
So I started to take the steps to figure out how to make change. I starting asking myself what I wanted, and I started listening, but more importantly...
Are you aware of your energy and how it affects others?
Do you notice the energy of others?
When you have a conversation with someone and you leave feeling better, lighter, vibrating on a higher frequency, how does it make you feel? Do you want to continue to surround yourself with those kinds of people?
What are you doing on a daily basis to create those connections with people?
In contrast...how does your energy feel when you are talking with a person who is negative, complaining and has a victim mentality? Do you feel lower and drained?
What are you doing on a daily basis to limit interactions with those kind of people?
The actions we take in our daily lives can have a significant impact to our energy. Stop and think about the people in your life and which category they fall into. How can you make more time to connect with those who lift you up and limit the interactions you have with those who bring you down.
Also pay attention to your own personal energy. Are you bringing others up...
My own self love has been something I've been working on for the past couple years. It's something I work on almost daily and something I am proud to say that I cultivate in myself.
It was not always like this. I've struggled with low self esteem for several years. When I really dug in to do the work, it was an aspect of myself I wanted to focus on. I knew that by focusing on my own self esteem and self love, it would set an example for those around me, most notably my 3 daughters.
But how do you even begin the process when you can't even imagine using the words self love to describe yourself?
There are a few things that I personally found that helped me the most! The first two are kind of obvious but I feel like the other three are not as evident.
1) Hiring a personal trainer. At first it was to improve how my body looked and I put in the work and my physical appearance did change for the better, but more importantly and what I found was that I was more proud of myself for committing to t...
I didn't even realize that I was a perfectionist. I've always thought that perfectionists are people who have perfectly clean houses, who are dressed perfectly and who have perfect children. I was none of those things, so I was stunned to learn that I too was a perfectionist.
The definition and how it applies to me is around procrastination. That we are so afraid of failure (not being perfect) that it leads to procrastination because if it can't be perfect, or we don't know exactly how it's going to be done, we have trouble even getting started...so we put if off...or even worse, never start.
I always thought, maybe I was lazy or not motivated but the issue was deeper.
Of course, as they say, the first step to recovery is seeing/acknowledging you have a problem. Which is great...but then what do you do about it?
This list is by no means exhaustive, just a few things I started doing to help combat my procrastination: