40 things I have learned by 40
40 things I’ve learned or done or loved before 40 my reverse bucket list, if you will.
Disclaimer - I am a slow learner!! So while many of these would be obvious to you...I likely just learned this...
How often do we sit down and really take an inventory of things we have accomplished or AHAs we had over the course of our life?
For me it was not often...ok it was not at all.
So to celebrate myself which is something I have also never really done I decided to challenge myself to making a list of 40. And of course that means I’m challenging you to do this as well!
Hey...no need to be 40...any/every age will work, also a birthday isn’t required 😉
I feel so incredibly blessed! 💜
1. I am a storyteller, those of you who know me best say DUH...but being told I have poor communication skills for so long made me take a long time to claim this! 2. All my feelings are OK (I used to think I was bad or wrong for feeling blah) - duh it’s so normal! 3. Do things before I think I’m ready 4. Figure it out as I go! 5. I will never be free of fear...but I have to walk into it anyway 6. SHARE your story! You never know who it will inspire and whose life it can touch and change 7. Who you surround yourself with matters! 8. Everything is about mindset - we can rewire our brains with lots of practice 9. Best thing I’ve learned is also one of the first truth bombs I heard - our thoughts aren’t real - thanks Byron Katie (also EFF!!) 10. The best things I’ve ever done for myself is investing in myself and my personal development
You don’t have to wait till 40 to do this! Do it now!! What would you write about yourself?
11. I am in control of my life...not what happens to me but how I react to it 12. The more I focus on one thing at a time the more efficient I am 13. God dwells inside us as us (thanks Liz Gilbert) 14. I am perfectly imperfect 15. I am incredibly stubborn. It can be negative but also positive - working on using that power for good (see #14) 16. I refuse to give up - I used to beat myself up about quitting but then I decided to shift this - I would quit and start and quit and restart now I look at that as a quality...not giving up! That shift has changed everything! 17. I am a role model whether I like it or not - my girls sometimes listen to what I tell them but always see the actions and behaviour I SHOW them. What am I choosing to show them? 18. As much as I want to believe quick fixes and how-tos work, they don’t it’s all about doing the work. Sometimes it hard but it’s always worth it. 19. I lead a privileged life. Middle class, white, cis-gendered, able bodied. I have a lot of work to do in this area (see #17) 20. People can change - but they have to want to and it’s a lot of work
21. I numb my feelings - my #1 drug of choice is food, followed closely by busy-ness. I’m aware and working on it (see #14 again...maybe that one should have been first, lol) 22. Hot water on demand is the best thing since sliced bread (unless it’s thick sliced homemade bread from Steinmar - see #21) 23. I’m hilarious (this isn’t up for debate as I know I am now matter if I’m the only one laughing) 24. I didn’t want to be a parent and have shared my struggles with motherhood. This often gets misinterpreted - it’s the idea and labels of traditional motherhood I struggle with. A dear friend told me not so long ago that I’m actually co-creating life with my girls. This changed everything for me. It reminded me that I’ve never done this and we are learning and I’m far from perfect but will do whatever it takes to show them we can work together to create the best version of our lives as we possibly can. (See #14 😉) 25. Failure sucks and can be tough to get over but when you are on the other side they really are great lessons! 26. I have few regrets...Brene Brown said the only regrets she has is in situations where she could have been kinder...same here. 27. I have the answers inside me - I just have to get quiet enough to listen and be brave enough to take the action 28. Learning to love my body is a hard process - especially when I’m bombarded with all the reasons why I should hate it, still a work in progress on this one 29. A few authors have changed my life including Brene Brown & Byron Katie 30. I love vacations and have been blessed to be able to take a big one a year for the last seven years (and can’t wait for my next one).
31. People won’t be who you want them to be. They are only who they are. Wanting them to be different is like fighting with what is. You get to choose to love them anyway and have boundaries. 32. The last 18 months I have done 4 solo trips (not including retreats I ran or attended). I flew to Utah, NYC, Phoenix and Boston! All 4 experiences were important catalysts for change in my life! 33. I have lost count of how many friends I have in my life because I was brave enough to reach out! I’m so grateful for them in my life and it helped me learn a lot about myself too! 34. I have been blessed to work for an incredible corporation for the last 18.5 years. I can’t imagine where I would be without that career! 35. Sometimes even good things have to change. 36. I’m an entrepreneur, it’s one of my most favourite things in the world. It’s fun and exciting. It FIRES me up and pushes me in ways I never thought possible. It has made me ‘put myself out there’ in ways i never thought as possible. 37. I’m blessed to have had to deal with little grief in my life. While the passing of people have been few there have been many changes I’ve grieved. Based on the magnitude of that, I can’t begin to understand the immense grieving process some people face. 38. I absolutely love to talk about awkward subjects! If you don’t want to talk about feelings, sex, politics, religion, race, or money don’t come sit next to me, lol! 39. So far I have seen Liz Gilbert, Gabby Bernstein, Glennon Doyle & Abby Wombach, Amal Cloney speak in public. They were all absolutely incredible! My actual bucket list still has Brene Brown, Oprah and Byron Katie on it. If you ever see tickets for an event buy two and I’ll come with you! 40. I have had so much growth over the past 10 years, can’t wait to see what the next 10 have in store!
Reflecting back on the things I have learned and done over the last 40 years has been very therapeutic!
Are you making your list? How’s it going?